i wish i was sad

i wish i could cry

let the weight upon my now fragile bones

flow away with liquid salt

sad

sad is so

so easy

one plus one

so, defined

an old friend

knocking on the membrane of your soul

from time to time

but she moved in

nestled between my heaving ribs

selected the beating musculous organ

(they said it was made for love)

as canvas

for her poisonous carvings

of dark swirling masses

tender bottomless pits

created a whirling chaos 

of broken dreams

and complex algebra

(but oh, so beautiful)

 

i am stranded 

branded by defunct happiness 

drifting

no sign

of billowing sails on the horizon 

no wood

to make a signal

(well there is, but it’s all that keeps me afloat and without it i will sink)

no clothes

to protect my skin from peeling off under the sun’s harsh rays

no water

to quench the burning in my throat 

it’s so tempting

to let go

fill my lungs with salt

cool my skin with the deep blue

but the depths 

never let you return

and i don’t want to hurt you